December 20, 9:00 a.m.
“Hey, Lil’ man. Sorry about everybody calling you ‘Broccoli.’ If I knew it was gonna stick, I never would’ve said it. I think I passed everything and convinced all your professors to pass you based on what you had already done. There may have been some bribes involved by I can neither confirm or deny this. The next semester is easy enough since you’re going to be awake by Christmas. I know you don’t like me drinking so much, but I gotta cope somehow. I’m almost finished building our place, so you won’t be able to not take a key. Well, I gotta get to work. Yeah, I’m working again, but only ‘cause it keeps me away from everyone. They always gotta be telling me how bad it is to spend every waking moment with you, so I’m just shutting them up. Well, I’m not really going work, truthfully. I’m gonna hide out at Davon’s. His nephew stays with him now, by the way. Well, I’m out of here. Dream of me, Lil’ man.”
“Morning, Broccoli. How you doin'? Everyone keeps going on about you. The whole campus is suddenly abuzz about the Broccoli, even the ones who don’t know you. Mind you, this is a medium-sized university in the grand scheme of things, but still, that’s a lot of people to just up and care. You must really get around with those sexual excursions of yours. I’m about to be an uncle. Janita is good and pregnant. The two of them are moving back to the U.K. That twin of mines is just going to just up and leave, like he could actually survive without me. Not that I’m bitter or anything. I just know it’s going to be hard for him without me, separation anxiety and all. And Jen, we haven’t seen her. Something about stuff for some big project. After her last promotion, we know the girl just delegates now. The only project that she’s doing is men—as usual. Seriously though, I’m worried about how my brother will cope without me. I’ll call him from time to time to make sure he’s adjusting.
Dana is a drunk. You’ve messed him up good with this coma thing. But as long as he doesn’t stop his gym routine, we are sure he’ll survive. Jason says he hasn’t gone into binge eating like he usually does when he’s depressed, so that could be a good thing. Still, he’s just not the Dana we know. Just like you, I guess: suicidal. Just gonna let yourself die. And Marco knew all along and wouldn’t tell us. No wonder you two are so close. He’s probably been convincing you to fight on so long, though it didn’t work and this year you gave up. You should’ve told us you were skipping appointments. We’re your friends. Well, what’s done is done. Do you mind if I use your bathroom? I have to pee.”
December 20 1:30 p.m.
“Hey, Broccoli. Guess what? I’m pregnant. Yup. Gonna be moving to London and everything. I’ve never been to England, so I’m all psyched up. If you don’t wake up by the New Year, we might be gone. The boys are being boys right now, and Jen is busy prepping for some sort of project, one that she says is years in the making. Apparently one promotion just isn’t enough. It comes as no surprise to me that she’s scheming her way to a new promotion. She puts as much dedication into her job as her sexcapades. I hear Raul was in here today, probably frontin’ like Rene is going to need him, and all that separation anxiety shit. Honestly, both of them are a piece of work. Neither will admit that they are both going to suffer having never been apart before. It’s just sad to see the level of denial. You just gotta sit back and smile and let them be them, you know.
I am so excited to be a mom, though. Now if only the dumbass would marry me. But you know he don’t believe in all that. That’s one difference between him and the twin who, by the way, is starting to settle down. He and Marco—as of the New Year—will officially stop seeing other people. Mind you, with all the trouble he got Marco into since he took his virginity, it doesn’t really matter. He surely made up for the past twenty-four years. But yeah, they are going to spend the summer in New York while job scouting. That is, if they don’t find a job before they move, but with all the summer internships they’ve raked in over the years, I see no problem. Me, I have to look into how many hours I have to work in a new country to officially practice therapy. And what other certifications I may need. Sucks but I didn’t plan on living my home country.
You know Dana’s a drunk now. He always smells like alcohol and carries vodka around in his water bottle. We know water isn’t that clear, but we let him be. He finally started working only to shut us up. But we know it’s a front, 'cause we eat there all the time and never see him. He’s probably just hiding out somewhere. Liza even seems all messed up about it. She is like his mom-away-from-home, after all. I’m hungry, I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
December 21, 8:30 a.m.
“Hello, Broccoli. I took the day off from my busy schedule to see you. Regardless of what they tell you, I’m actually working for real and not just sleeping around. Yes, I may be the most sexually experienced of the crew. I mean I can’t help the fact that I’m a voluptuous vision of beauty, but this time, unfortunately, I’m actually not getting any. Me not getting any. Damn this project to hell. I mean I’m too hot to be wasting my time for further advancement. But enough about me. You’re looking pretty good. Sleep's working wonders for you. I, of course, am here to do what I always do, seeing as no one else cares. I’m gonna clip and manicure you, ‘cause this stuff is getting unsightly. And how else will the crew know I came to see you? Your feet are way to attractive for mans feet. I have to pay out the ass for sexy toes.
So Dana’s a drunk now. It’s horrible. But that hasn’t done a damn thing to diminish that he’s hot shit. I wouldn’t worry about him looking all tore up when you wake up. We have to say ‘when’ in case he accidentally comes in and hears us say ‘if.’ He throws a fit or breaks down and cries if there’s any hint of your possibly impending death. Sad really. He needs to just accept all the possibilities so he can move on. But you can’t knock a guy for hope. Hope keeps us going, which is why I’m struggling so hard with this project. You gotta believe it will all work out and boy, does he believe—almost to the extent of disaster—but you gotta admire that sense of faith. Damn, that nurse is hot shit. I’ll be right back. This bitch is long overdue for some action. I promise to make it a quickie.”
December 21, 3:00 p.m.
“Hey there. Just thought I’d stop by before heading to the club. I’m the assistant manager now. I still work the bar sometimes, and I guess I miss it a little. It’s taking me a while to fully let go and settle into my new position. It’s fun, though; I get to mingle with the people and meet a celebrity or two, or five, instead of just send them drinks. They always told me who the drinks are for, but now I get to actually sit down with them and cruise the VIP. I mean, I’d get to do that with Dana what few times he shows up, but I’m always working. By the way, he is spending time at my house when he’s pretending to be working. He’s not fooling anyone, though. The whole Jackson thing has finally smoothed over. His mom won’t get the divorce, so he’s still staying with us. Now that he knows who his real father is, he’s not too thrilled about the prospect of going back. He’ll be off to college after summer, so it’s only a few more months.
Davon says hi. He’s a little busy, so he may not get out here this week. Jamie is turning out to be the piece of work that his dad and Davon told me. Boy, does he give Jackson a hard time. He’d be in loads of trouble if Jackson didn’t keep him in line. They’re the cutest little couple, though. I think having him over sometimes is somewhat therapeutic for Dana. He actually smiles when he sees them together, whether they be fighting or making out. At least something still makes him smile. I’m finally settling down. Yeah, I’m taking the same route as Marco and Raul and gonna try this monogamy thing out. It is my first gay relationship, after all. Funny how all three of us started our first real relationship this year. Well, four. Me, Marco, and Dana. What are the odds of us all finding love in the same year?
And sex is fucking amazing. I mean, who’d have thought that after all these years of straight sex I’d settle on the other side of the fence? I mean, I was always drawn to both, but it’s drastic. And the change went smoothly. Guess it was because of the extreme circumstances. We had to go through his depression to get this far. And furthermore, even after experimenting with both sexes over the past few weeks, I’ve decided to be a bottom. I’m even amazed at that one. I was so sure I’d be a top, but it is what it is. I’m giving myself until the end of January to get more guy experience and throw in some more girls before finally settling down, though. Guess I’m like Marco—it just feels weird to just go into it without solidifying that this is really what I’m into. I’m thoroughly convinced I could live forever with just a man or woman now, though. I’m just not ready to give up just yet, much to Davon’s dismay. By the way, the nurse Jen did earlier, hot, and there he goes. Probably heading to let some other patient check him out. Maybe I’ll hit that one more time before I get out of here. She can’t be the only one to enjoy him.”
Christmas, 11:00 a.m.
“Merry Christmas. We all came to see you today—even the slut,” Janita said.
“I am not,” Jen replied with mock irritancy.
“Are you still tryin' to pull that? I’ve been working on a project, and that’s why you see me so sparingly. Shit.”
“You know, you’re getting fat.”
“I hate you,” Janita replied with a smile.
“I love you too. So what are you going to name the child?”
“Adrian. Boy or girl. I discovered I was pregnant the month he went into a coma, so it seemed fitting to name him after one of our closest friends, and the story of the undying love that brought him out of the coma.”
“So basically you’re banking on him waking up to give the name that extra oomph.”
“Hell, yeah. The Broccoli better wake the fuck up.” Janita said and Jen just shook her head and smiled.
“So how goes the Broccoli?” Dana asked Jason as he walked into the room. Jason was dropping a gift on the table.
“Nice to see you. You’re late.”
“I had a little too much to drink. Overslept.”
“You should slow down.”
“Jason.”
“What? The only time you’re sober is—well, never.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck me?”
That was when Dana took a long gulp of his water.
Dana was doing his best to enjoy the festivities. The only downfall was the onslaught of vodka he was licking back. But on the whole they all had a good time, laughing and telling the latest news to the Broccoli, talking about all the drama they still got into without him and threatening to open his gifts for him—well, trying to open his gifts for him, but with no success. Dana was very adamant about leaving them wrapped to be ready for when he woke up. They all tried their best to get one by him, but even drunk Dana was quite formidable. It still made for good fun, though.
Time went on. New Year’s came and went with the same routine: putting Adrian in a hat and taking pictures, just like at Christmas, with more gifts and so on. It was adorable, and it was going to make for good pics. Around one thirty in the morning, Dana was chugging back a few gulps, and he thought he heard a sigh. Adrian seemed still, so he didn’t think much of it and took another gulp.
“What time is it?”
“Lil’ man. You’re awake? I’m not dreaming again, am I?”
“Nah. What day is it?”
“Valentines. It’s only one thirty, a few more hours till sunrise.”
Dana leant in a little closer and held his hand. Adrian was speaking very softly and seemed to be adjusting to the light, even though it was dim. Only a lamp lit the room. It was probably because he hadn’t used his eyes in four months. The nurses hurried in and checked to make sure that everything was okay. Other than being weak from not using his muscles, Adrian was just fine.
“Shit, I can’t even sit up on my own.”
“Let me help you.” Dana adjusted the bed and then helped Adrian shift into a more comfortable position.
“You smell like alcohol. What’s in that bottle?”
“I’ve been drinking,” Dana replied as he broke into tears. “To keep my emotions numb. It’s the only thing that works.”
“All day. Every day?”
“Yeah. I didn’t handle this nearly as well as I thought I could. It’s been a rough experience. But now that you’re back, I’m sure I’ll be fine.” The state that Dana was in was more than enough to fully convince Adrian to do whatever it took to not put him through this again. Jen was blindly looking past the obvious. You could see how messed up he was, even if he wasn’t drunk. This wasn’t his Dana. There was no way that he could allow this to happen anymore.
“You should’ve learned from me. You only get drunk when you party, not all the time,” Adrian said with a weak smile. Dana smiled back. “I want to get out of here.”
“But—”
“I hate hospitals. I don’t care if you have to wheel me around till I can walk on my own. Get me some crutches so I can exercise circling the house. Just get me out of here.”
“I’ll give you a day. That’ll give me time to detox and you a whole day to see just how strong you are.”
“I don’t care if I’m in excruciating pain. I’m taking a cane and walking out of here tomorrow.”
“All right. Oh, and I forgive you—for all the fucked up shit you said to me.”
“I don’t know if I can accept. You’re drunk.”
“Fuck you, Lil’ man,” Dana said with a chuckle.
“And happy birthday, Dana. Bet you weren’t expecting anything good to happen today. Valentine’s Day and I just spring out of a comma. What are the odds of that?”
“You must’ve known that another week of drinking and I wouldn’t be able to spring back,” Dana said, laughing.
“Yeah. There’s only enough room for one drunk in this duo.”
“If you say so, Lil’ man.” Adrian quickly fell asleep, and when he woke up an hour later, there were all his friends, looking like Dana had dragged them out of bed to come there. It was only three now, and they looked just as tired and weak as he felt. But there they were. There were a whole host of things labelled “Broccoli” that took them the next hour to open—cards and flowers. When Adrian heard the Broccoli story, all he could do was give a weak laugh. Broccoli stuck, regardless of Dana’s initial protest. His argument that he was no longer a veg just didn’t seem to hold enough weight. Adrian who shouldn’t have even been awake for the present opening ceremony finally fell asleep and the rest went home to do the same.
A day later, Adrian was being wheeled out of the hospital. He had a cane and crutches but was determined to push through his pain and be able to walk unassisted as soon as possible. The only thing he didn’t like was that the scar from his surgery was noticeably bigger than it once was, and he’d lost a lot of weight. Other than that, he was okay. They went by the school to pick up all the cards and flowers that had amassed since he’d awakened, and Dana drove them to the other side of town. Adrian was a little curious as to where they were headed, since Dana didn’t live on this side of town, but he didn’t have the energy to talk about it and dozed off. Dana was driving Liza’s car, since he got into an accident driving drunk a few days back and totalled his car. He was picking up the new Jeep tomorrow.
Dana woke Adrian in front of what appeared to be a once-abandoned building, the type just large enough to be converted into about four lofts or so. It had that kind of feel. As they walked in, Adrian noticed that on the ground floor there were two sizable offices, both fully equipped with enough equipment for him and Dana to design whatever their hearts desired. There was also a room for every award either of them had won and all the models, built to scale, of everything he and Dana had created since their first day of college. The other half of this ground level was yet to be finished.
The second floor of the building Dana had turned into a large hall that was fully equipped with bar and bathrooms that he planned to rent out for private parties. They had taken the elevator, which was one of those that just opened up right into the apartment, and that was what Adrian found himself walking into—his own apartment. To the right was a fully stocked kitchen with all of the newest amenities and with a few windows and a skylight with a centre island that doubled as a workstation or kitchen sitting area. In the corner beside that directly to the right was the actual dining area. Light wood floors with slightly darker cabinetry reflected the down casting light beautifully in the kitchen. There was an open plan, so the kitchen went seamlessly into the living room, which had darker furniture to contrast the with the floor.
Dana closed the elevator gate as Adrian continued in the loft. There were three steps to the left, leading down to a second gathering space. In the centre of the vast space was a circular fireplace. It was on a cracked stone base, about a foot and a half off the ground. It was charcoal black with a conical flue leading to a circular smoke stack that went up and out the ceiling. Around the fireplace was a circle of dark beige sofas in two pieces, essentially making two c’s a perfect distance away from the fire. The windows were a floor to across the length of the front wall.
The opposite wall was the wall with the main living space connected to the adjacent to the kitchen. The fireroom was sunken in along the same length as the main living area. The upper level livingroom wall was where the larger than life TV was. Connected to the state of the art sound system going through the loft. Except for the bedroom.
***
Through all this, Adrian was wondering where the hell the bedroom was. He’d seen the outside of this building and it was large. A whole quarter of the space had to be behind the far left wall, somehow.
Dana didn’t want to mess up the wall with a door, so he put in an automatic one perfectly integrated into the wall. One press of a button and a section in the middle of the wall moved to the left into the wall. They went through and into the bedroom, more hardwood floors. The room seemed to be designed as a home theatre but with the comforts of a bedroom. The bed was situated to the centre of the right wall. Before taking in the room, though, he walked straight across to what appeared to be the bathroom door. As he walked in, he found himself in a medium-sized dressing room with comfy couches and three doorways. Without the actual doors one opening was directly in front of him at the end of the square room and one to either side all approximately the same distance from him. The last door being the entrance in which he came through. The side doors led to separate walk-in closets.
Adrian continued through the centre doorway and was blown away. Right before him was a massive floor to ceiling window with a jetted soaker tub big enough to hold an entire nation below it. To the left was one of those massive showers with multiple jets and a rain shower head so big it defied logic. On the right was a closed in toilet area and a vanity stretching back towards the side of the room he was on thus creating a perfect L. So what was in the room taking up the last of the left wall space. He turned to the left walked to the door and gasped. A steam room. This bathroom wash shiny bling with a heavy dash of masculine heaven. He walked into the closet closest the steam room, then back into the main entrance room and excited back into the bedroom. Thoroughly impressed.
The walls were off-white. The bed was centred to his left, and to his right was what appeared to be a sunken glass seating nook. There was a ramp on either side of the front of the room, curving into this seating area. As Adrian got closer, he noticed that it wasn’t just glass but actually a fish tank with soft oversized cushions for him to sit on. He sank into a cushion, looked up at the custom paint on wall movie screen, and then realised why it felt kind of like a combination theatre/bedroom. With the ramps, the comfortable sitting space, the small speakers lining the tops of the side walls, and the centralization of the bed, he wasn’t sure if it was a home theatre or a bedroom. But he loved it.
“So you like it?”
“Yeah. But when do I get to go back to my room?”
“Your stubbornness won’t work this time. This is our place. This is your key, and the guys sold the house. Marco and Raul are staying in my old apartment. So you’re stuck here. Didn’t you notice your clothes in the left closet?”
“You can’t just move me in by force.”
“What do you mean, I can’t? It’s already done, so obviously I can.”
“What happened to my freedom of choice?”
“You still have it. You’re free to choose whatever you like. You’ll just be doing it from this apartment.”
Adrian pouted in defeat, and Dana just smiled. “And no there weren’t any clothes.”
Dana had gone into the closet to put on something more comfortable, leaving Adrian on the fish tank. “Oh, that’s because I gave them to the needy!”
“You did what?” Adrian shouted back. He would’ve got up to protest but he was too weak for more than verbal retaliation, so he waited for Dana to come back into the room.
“Yeah. When was the last time you bought clothes?”
“I’m on a strict budget.”
“I know your sister makes enough money for you to buy clothes.”
“She’s already paying for my school. I can’t expect her to buy me clothes too. Mine are fine. I do have a summer job; I buy things every now and then.”
“Well, I’m treating you to all new stuff. No more spending of your own money. You’ve got to let go at some point. You can’t limit yourself forever.”
“I have my own cards and stuff. My own checkbooks.”
“I fixed that already.”
“You can’t just—” Adrian couldn’t even finish the sentence. He got right on the phone and called the bank, following Dana out to the kitchen. Dana lifted him up and put him on the counter, then started to cut some Panini slices so he could make the two of them some sandwiches.
“Only deposit. How can you just block all my money?”
“Just smile and accept that I’m going to take care of you.”
“But—”
“Mustard or mayo?”
Adrian obviously wasn’t going to win this one. He, however, didn’t see his impending doom. For now, he just responded with mustard.
Two days later, on Thursday, he was still fighting with Dana over this money thing. Dana was heading off to Liza's to work the coffee bar, and Adrian just wouldn’t let up.
“Just let it go already. You’ve spent all these years doing extremely well for yourself. Just let me take care of you. I have all this money, more than enough to take care of us and a family of twenty kids. Just stop resisting. I’m not changing my mind.”
“But I’m a man. I can’t just let you assume complete and total control of my finances.”
“It’s only until you get out of school and you finish paying back your sister. Then if you’re still so adamant about it, you can start spending your own money.”
“You can’t—”
“Adrian! This is it. Why is it so hard for you to let me take care of you? Why can’t you just let me have something? You don’t let me do anything. I had to force you to move in with me. Just let me have the money and stop being difficult. And more importantly, even if you can’t, I’m forbidding this conversation. If you bring it up again, I won’t even entertain it with an argument anymore.”
“Okay. But if I must give in, could you stop giving me cash? I feel like you’re paying for something. Especially when people can see.”
“All right. Here’s my card. And could you finally go shopping already? If you keep holding out till I give you your money, you’ll never have anything to wear.”
“Okay. I probably won’t head out till late, so I’ll meet you at Liza’s before dinner.”
“All right. I’m working the bar for dinner. I’m kind of just throwing myself back in since I was gone for so long. Bye, Lil’ man. Call me or Jason if you need anything. How’s the heart?”
“You didn’t tell me they performed illegal cell regeneration surgery on me.”
“You’d be surprised what you can do with money. And don’t you dare repeat that. We’re not trying to get anyone fired or be in the press or anything over this—especially if it doesn’t work. Well, I gotta run. See you when I get back.”
***
“Damn. You’re really bent out of shape about this, aren’t you,” Nicole said, laughing over the phone.
“Yes. I mean, who can convince the bank to block all my cards? That’s just insane. At least I got him to stop with the rolls of cash. I’m not tryin' to look like I’m a mobster or something every time I make a purchase. And he and my friends conspiring to make me move in with him—”
“They didn’t conspire against you.”
“They did. They took advantage of my broccoli status to force me, knowing I was going to still be adjusting and too weak to protest. I wouldn’t even take a key, and now I’ve been with him for two days straight. I’m being domesticated against my will.” His sister just couldn’t get enough of this rant. She was really enjoying this.
“Why don’t you just calm down? Don’t take it out on me.”
“Well, I have to yell at someone. Yelling at him is useless. He’s forbidden me to talk about this topic ever again.”
“You know, I’m really starting to like him.”
“So how’s your relationship going? You gonna finally come out the closet?”
“I think so.”
“Won’t that be sorta high profile? A professional kickboxer and all.”
“I know. Just what I need is for Chantelle to know that both her celebrity crushes are taken by her siblings. But it’s about time, I guess. I do like him.”
“Right. Dana thinks it’s cute; he just hasn’t met her yet. You bought her a gift from me while I was asleep? I mean, you only go eighteen once.”
“I did. She was impressed that you thought of her. Even as a broccoli.”
“Well, I’m off. I’m going to pick up a few things before heading to the bar for dinner.”
“What’s the limit on his card anyway?”
“Dunno, but it doesn’t matter. You know I’m a careful spender.”
“True. Well, I’ve got another criminal case. Someone is saying that my client threatened his family and to burn his store if he didn’t sell it.”
“Remind me again why you only defend criminals?”
“The pay is better. I’m not going to lie. It’s about the money and the perks. I defended one of Dana’s cousins and we’ve been close enough friends. Imagine my surprise to find out over the phone that you were dating him.”
“Hold up. I thought you found out from me.”
“Oops. My bad. I guess that cat’s out the litter box,” his sister said. “It was one of Manny’s brothers that I did a case for. I knew his father, Tony, whom you’ve met, and Dana’s mother. So I happened to be talking to her, and she was going on about this guy her son was seeing, but she didn’t have details. Then Manny’s dad calls me for some legal advice and he knows your name, ‘cause Many called him from the club one night and told him. I didn’t know how he found out your name at the time. So I asked him what university Dana was at. I mean it can’t be coincidence that you were dating a Dana and two connections to a Dana said he was dating. One actually to an Adrian. He tells me and I say, ‘That’s my brother.’ He told the mom and the rest was just clever acting on our part, pretending like all we knew was the name and not the person. She had a picture of you long before she flew down, pretending like she was all distraught and just had to see him. We are good at what we do.”
“You know what? That is a new low—even for you. This time you had accomplices.”
“We figured that at some point you’d tell us exactly who the other person was, but the real problem was that you didn’t know who Dana was. So we had to wait until he was comfortable enough to tell you.”
“So you’re saying you would’ve told me if I already knew he was a mob prince?”
“Well, of course. I would never have kept such valuable information from you.”
“At least you lied with conviction.”
“Whatever, Broccoli.”
“God. You never know how much you miss your name till no one uses it anymore.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
***
Dana had just finished making sure everything was ready in his section behind the bar. He was working with two others tonight. He was about to use his last few minutes to relax, but that was when his phone started buzzing. It was around four thirty and Adrian needed help getting into the restaurant.
“Damn, Lil’ man. What did you buy?”
“I went to the mall to get some DVDs so we can put our movie projector to good use. On my way to check out, I saw some CDs that I just had to buy, so I picked them up and within eyeshot was the new IPod. I figured that I was there to buy clothes, but if I came back bitchn’ about how I didn’t want to spend your money, you’d be on my case. So I got the accessories to go with it and tried to leave, but there was the new Wii. I figured there was no harm in at least fantasising about getting it. Then I bought it.” through all this explanation, Dana was just smiling and unloading the taxi Adrian had arrived in.
“So back to the taxi and into the mall to actually buy clothes, like I should. I am usually quite strict, but you said it’s time to relax, so I let my inhibitions down and went in, not thinking about pinching pennies. Polo, DKNY, CK, Ralph Lauren, Diesel, Oldnavy. I don’t know what happened. Next thing I know, I had to head back out to offload the clothes in the taxi. Just too many to hold. That was when I realised that I had missed my favourite stores.”
“Really? And they are?” Dana asked, egging on the story.
“Pac Sun, Hot Topic, and Rue 21, so I went back in and noticed there’s stuff on the sales rack. Since I was in a coma during winter, I never got to see any of these items, so I tried to browse. I did my best, but in each store I left with stuff on the sales rack that I know I would’ve bought had I not limited myself all these years. However, with my new outlook on shopping, I left with loads of new stuff as well. I mean, hats and belts and stuff. I tried to just leave, but— well, I did manage to get you a shirt.” Dana raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, in Hot Topic. It reads, ‘I used to have superhuman powers, but my therapist took them away.” Dana chuckled at that.
“So I got back out to the taxi and realised that after all of that, the one thing that I needed more than anything—that was supposed to be my first stop before buying the Wii—I still didn’t have: shoes. So I asked the driver if he wouldn’t mind pushing me around. The heart is still adjusting/growing, whatever, and I couldn’t take much more walking. I hated to ask, since he’d been helping me shop, but I really needed shoes. I got three pairs of Lugz, two pairs of dress shoes, and two pairs of boots. I headed to the counter and there on the wall were these perfectly white K-Swiss kicks. They had silver buckles, and the logo was written on the side facing out on each shoe. What’s one more pair, I thought. Next to them, though, was a pair of Sketchers in two shades of blue that would match one of the new pairs of pants I just bought—and some running shoes too. The ones that I wear to the gym are just an embarrassment. That was the whole point of going in the first place: new gym shoes. Well, it was downhill after that.”
“So that’s all?” The driver gave Dana a look, and Dana, in turn, gave Adrian an accusing smile.
“Well, I was getting in the taxi, and I saw this little girl with her PSP. So I decided we should make one more stop. I thought it be a simple decision. I had both the PSP and the Nintendo DS in my hand, and out the corner of my eye I saw the widescreen TVs. Well, my sister just went eighteen, I said to justify to myself why the entertainment centre rooms seemed to be calling to me. I went in and I knew I had to get her the TV. As you know, we are film buffs in my family. I didn’t get the surround sound system, though.”
“Really?” The driver let a slight laugh escape him at Dana’s question.
“Well, at least not the one in that showroom, anyway. Luckily, there’s a branch close to where we live with the same items in stock, so they’ll deliver it from there.” The taxi now being fully emptied, Dana gave the driver a very generous tip.
“He needs to teach my wife how to shop. We rammed this taxi in two hours. It takes her that long to buy one pair of shoes. If she had his speed, shopping wouldn’t be such a task.” Dana laughed, thanked him again, and then headed back inside the restaurant to find Adrian sitting at a table. He loaded the last item in the back room and then came back out to Adrian.
“I can return some of this stuff. I kept all the receipts.”
“Let me see.” Dana put is mental math to work. “Wow.”
“How bad is it?”
“Over four, approximately. Maybe more.”
“That can’t be right. I mean the TV and—oh. I see,” Adrian said, and lowered his head in shame. Dana just smiled.
“I’m sure I can find something I don’t need. There’s—well, I can’t get rid of that. Wait. There’s—no. Well, there must be something.” Adrian seemed lost in thought. It was proving to be quite difficult to let go of his purchases.
“Don’t hurt yourself, Lil’ man,” Dana said while laughing.
“It’s not funny. This is serious.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“This is your fault. I told you to let me keep my money. You should’ve let me keep my money. I need limits. Apparently, I have no willpower. Thousands spent and only two hours to fill a van. That’s got to be a record.”
“So you’re a shopaholic. You enjoyed it.”
“Yes. Every time I swiped my card, a rush of adrenaline would go through me. I was on a high with each new purchase. Honestly, after I hit five hundred dollars, I thought I couldn’t possibly be spending too much if the card was still working. It didn’t even occur to me that I may be in the thousands until I was about to get the TV. Seriously, I started panicking. When that went through, I sank in my seat so I couldn’t see anything out the window and told the driver not to make any more stops.” Dana couldn’t get enough of this story. His Adrian—the supreme and ultimate ruler of the perfect budget—was a closet shopaholic. He’d let loose an animal.
“Why don’t you answer the phone?”
“I don’t hear anything.”
“Lil’ man.”
“Oh, all right.”
“Is that a new phone?”
“I know. It’s the latest one out. Only been on sale for about a week. It’s a—oh look! My first email. Oh. Nothing special.”
“Let me see.” Adrian handed over the phone and Dana just laughed at the message. It was confirmation of an all-day spa treatment that Adrian had booked himself.
“We haven’t done our best till you feel your best: Heavenly Touch Health and Beauty Spa Resort.”
“I called before the TV. They’re just emailing my receipt. What is the limit on this thing anyway?”
“Unlimited.”
“There’s such a thing as unlimited?” Adrian realised that obviously there had to be after he said it. But to him, “unlimited” was in the same category as the tooth fairy. He’d never been within sight of one, let alone held one. Dana just smiled at the innocence in the question. Adrian was genuinely in awe that he was in possession of “unlimited.” He felt like he was drinking ambrosia from the Holy Grail.
“Why would you give me an unlimited? You can’t let me keep this stuff. You can’t let me hold this anymore. It’s too dangerous.”
“I can afford it. Mind you, I’ve never spent more than a thousand. The bank might think it got stolen.”
“That reminds me—your name is on the card: N. Dana. S. That’s just like Nintendo DS. Same initials. I press its buttons. And I press your buttons. You’re like my own living, breathing Nintendo D. S..” Dana had to laugh at that. “Anyway, there I was walking up to the counter with my pile of DVDs and my Wii, and the guy asks for my ID, so I just hand it over. I was mortified out of my mind when he said he had to call the bank, 'cause the name on the card didn’t match. The taxi driver wondered how many people he knew that were stupid enough to just hand over their ID, knowing the card was stolen without fighting first to prove their identities. He argued that no one was stupid enough to just sell himself out that easily. The two of them got into a fight, and the checkout guy ended up having to call back again, seeing as the bank hung up. He then got put on hold, and finally, I got my stuff. From then on it was easier. I knew exactly who to tell them to talk to.”
“Sorry. I should’ve given you that information when I gave you the card.”
“Oh, by the way, I picked up the last thing I bought with my own money. I got you a birthday gift. I know it was two days ago, but I was just coming out of a coma.”
“You got me jewellry?” Dana took the jewellry box from Adrian. He wasn’t much of an accessory guy. Inside the box was a platinum link chain, with the words “Lil’ man” hanging from it. Adrian had a matching one that said “D.S.” As Dana looked at it, Adrian considered changing it to “N. D. S..”
“Well?”
“I dunno what to say. How’d you know I’d be ready for something like this?”
“I didn’t. I had them ordered after our fight and was hoping that by now you’d be comfortable enough to wear it. I just purchased on faith.”
“I dunno. A percentage of the school and part of the town is one thing. The gossip about us is still only in certain circles. But this? Everyone will know.”
“Is that a no?”
“Nah. I’m going to put it on now. But my other crew of friends at the bar are going to have a field day with this. I haven’t quite come out at work.”
“Cool. At least my last purchase was worth it.”
“Yeah. Wow. I had to struggle to get you to take a key, and here you are branding me. Who knows? I might get you to believe in marriage.”
“Don’t push your luck.”.
“Stay. Sit at the bar.”
“You sure? You don’t usually let me watch you work.”
“That was before. I’m more comfortable with myself now, so I won’t be afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“That I’d just burst and grab you or something, ‘cause I was too afraid to touch you. Now I’m okay with being around you, so I don’t have to worry that all that bottled-up emotion will explode with me jumping over the counter at you.”
“Ah. So that’s why you didn’t want me close to you.”
“Whatever. Dinner starts soon. I want you at the bar. Stay?”
“Okay. I’ll stay,” Adrian said, and followed him to the bar. Dana served him a drink. “There’s no alcohol in this.” Dana didn’t have time to give him a look as some orders came to the bar for a table.
“Lil’ man. I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means.” Linda, one of the bar friends Dana mentioned had approached the bar.
“No, it doesn’t, Linda.” Adrian and the rest of the gang didn’t know much about the friends Dana had outside of them. Being private, Dana had naturally just made a few friends with people he served at the bar. Adrian and the guys were the first crew from school he’d really connected with.
“So how’s the job? It has been just over two months since I’ve seen you.”
“I just lost a case.” Dana faked a sigh before serving someone else.
“You win some, you lose some. So what’s up with you—still single? I can’t believe no one’s snagged you up yet.”
“Well—”
“Don’t tell me you’ve been hiding her from us. Who is she?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Dana was hustling between table orders and customers sitting at the bar. Why couldn’t there be loud music like at a club so no one could hear this conversation? That was when another regular sat down.
“Don’t be shouting orders at him. Can’t you see we are having a conversation?” Linda stated.
“You can’t be the only one allowed to flirt with him, Linda. Besides, my flavour of the month left me, and I need drink. Lil’ man. God, I hope not,” Tim said.
“That’s what I said, Tim.”
“You look a little cranky. Guess you’re not getting any again, are you, Tim?” Jack —another regular—asked as he sat down at the bar.
“Don’t start with me, Jack. Mr. One-year-relationship-with hot-supermodel-chick.”
“If it makes you feel any better, she left me for the hot threesome girl from last week. Lil’ man? Well I don’t have that problem,” Jack said as he too took a glance at Dana’s neckpiece.
“Don’t make me talk. I’ll have my usual, Dana,” Marci said as she sat at the table. That was it for Dana’s closest friends—the ones he had made since he moved into the city. The four people he talked to most before joining up with Adrian and the crew.
“You forget I’ve seen it—Lil’ man? Shit, I almost choked on my drink. Guess I’ve been wasting my time flirting with you.” Marci said.
“He’s not single. That’s got to be the only explanation,” Jack said.
“What? Who’s the bitch? Let me at her,” Marci replied. Dana was happy to be busy so he could avoid being directly involved in this conversation. It wasn’t so much that he was ashamed, but it was just that every time his name and “single” were in the same sentence, peoples’ ears would perk up.
“Seems like Dana’s a popular guy. I’d be a wreck if this many people hit on me,” Adrian said.
“Hi. I’m Tim. And you are?”
“Adrian.”
“And how do you know Dana?”
“From the college.”
“Oh. So do you know who this mystery girl is? ‘Cause he is clearly too busy to tell the only important people up in here. Not that I want to know. Then I’d have to stop fantasising about him during my solo sessions,” Tim said, before gulping down his wine.
“I called out his name while Kevin was fucking me last night,” Linda added.
“Damn—the things he does to me in my dreams. I dare not repeat them. But I can deep throat. Let me have a taste and you’ll drop that bitch,” Marci said as he refilled Tim’s glass.
“I don’t think you can, Marci.”
“Steel you away?”
“Deep throat me.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“It’s a fact,” and off Dana went again to serve customers.
“You’re cute for a little guy. Name’s Marci. Otherwise known as sex goddess.”
“Well, no modesty there,” Jack commented and took another sip from his glass. “So who is she already?” Jack continued as Dana made it back over to them.
“It’s not a she.” There were a lot of gasps and blank stares from all within earshot, and every blender stopped as if they, too, were interested in hearing this.
“You’re messing with me. My gaydar is immaculate,” Linda said.
“Mines as well,” added Tim.
“I’m serious, you guys.” Dana would’ve left it at that, but it seemed as if everyone at the bar refused to drink or serve until he divulged at least a name. He hadn’t even told them why he was missing for two months, so this was going to be like telling everything in one blow.
“It seems I don’t have a choice—if everyone must know. It’s Adrian. Can we all get back to work and drinking now?” He made a show of saying it loud enough and looking around so every one got the message.
“Ah, so you got you a country boy. And a half-Asian at that. The man’s got taste. Guess he doesn’t like darker meat.”
“Maybe he just doesn’t like you, Tim,” Linda said.
“What? Now that’s just crazy talk. I’m one prime hunk of minute beef.” He was just over five feet.
“Apparently there’s no modesty there either. And it could be that you’re just too short. Adrian may be short, but he’s not quite as short as you,” Jack commented.
“I’m short? And to think all this time I thought I was like six feet. Damn, that’s a heartbreaker. I think I need another shot to recover.”
“You’re one hot mess. Hell let’s all have a shot on me,” Jackson said, and he rang the bell at the end of the bar. Dana set them up with some Jager bombs, and they all raised their glasses.
“To Dana, for joining the relationship realm,” Linda said.
“To all the hearts that have been broken,” added Jackson.
“To all the naughty dreams we can no longer have, and dull solo sessions now that we can’t fantasise about you,” said Tim.
“And to all the people who don’t give a shit and will still think unclean, filthy, nasty thoughts about you,” Marci said.
“Thank God. I was hoping there’d be a toast for people like us,” Tim added.
“You know I got your back.” Dana just shook his head, and everyone at the bar downed their shots.
“Come sit with us. We deserve to know all about the man he’s been hiding from us. Anyone to get this select piece of imported sausage has got to be someone amazing,” Linda said, and before Dana could protest they were dragging him off to a table and a rush of orders came his way. He could only hope they didn’t embarrass him and vice versa.
***
“Damn, you opening your own store?” Manny asked as he saw all of Adrian’s stuff. He had brought over one of the club vans ‘cause there was no way it was all going to fit in the Jeep.
“Manny, just load the van,” Dana said as he loaded the last thing into the van.
“Lil’ man. He branded you? News travels fast, 'cause my mom’s going on about when am I going to get married. The girlfriend was on my case and now the mom too. You have no idea what you’ve done. ‘Why can’t you be more like Dana?’ is what they're both saying.”
“Engaged? It’s just jewellery.”
“I know, but you know how she balloons everything. If she knew him like we do, she’d know that if anyone would initiate marriage, it’d be you. How’d you get him to go from not moving in, to branding you?”
“I dunno. But I’m certainly not complaining. Who knows? I might turn him into a one-man guy.”
“Ha. I doubt even your superpowers are that strong.”
“Ye of little faith.”
“Yeah, yeah. So how goes this thing? You found out who’s behind it all yet?”
“Nah. It’s stable, though. I just do what I got to do to keep everyone quiet. At least it’s not getting worse. Just wish I could find out the source without getting others involved. It’s been a few years now and nothing. And I can’t not tell Adrian why I’m messin' around forever. We’re getting way too close for secrets.”
“It’ll work itself out. And if it finally comes down to it, you know the family will dig into it and get shit done.”
“I’m trying to avoid disappearing acts,” Dana said with a smile.
“Aww, you’ve been behind a few yourself. They can be fun.”
“Just get in the van,” Dana said and then walked over to the jeep. Adrian was already sleeping in the passenger seat. Dana kissed him on the forehead, ran his fingers through his hair, whispered “I love you,” and then drove home.
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