She watched the flames rise, her heart beating calmly as the smoke left the building. With each toxic breath, she became calmer. More resolved. More sure of herself. She didn’t think of what her actions may have caused and would cause. She didn’t think about much at all. She acted. There was no other choice. No other way to handle the situation.
After a wonderful New Year’s Day service, standing outside a burning building, covered in blood mostly not her own, was not where she thought she’d be. She held her son in her hands; he was just as quiet as she was. Just as calm. Just happy to be with his mother. Not aware really of anything that had happened that day, only that he was finally back in familiar territory.
She heard the sound of sirens, but they didn’t bother her. She was too far removed from the chaos. Her single-minded determination to complete the task yielded a successful result, and that was the only thing that she was concerned with.
She looked up to the sky, took a deep breath, then looked at her son; just a boy of two with red hair that was trying its hardest to be golden brown but was failing epically. Only a few strains remained. He smiled at her, and she smiled at him. This day… she would never forget.
The police arrived, and she willingly got into the car but refused to let go of her child. As they drove to what she knew could be the beginning of the end, she thought back to what had started her actions, what led her to this state. Back to when she was holding her dying boyfriend in her arms. Just a few moments in the shop and she came out to find him bloody, bleeding, and without child.
He didn’t waste his last breath with novel things like, “I love you.” She knew that beyond all doubt. What he did say, after a weak smile, was, “Get him back.”
And get him back she did.
***
A few months had gone by, and she was being greeted by her would’ve been sister-in-law had her boyfriend/fiancé still been alive. She had Lisa’s son, who was now three. He ran up to her, and she scooped him up into her arms. He made everything right in her world. Temporary insanity they said. It was more than accurate. But at least she wasn’t going to be spending her life behind bars. A few months of unnecessary therapy. She was fine now, but you don’t just get away with what she did. Most of it was still a big blur. She was still amazed herself, if not shocked, by what she had actually done.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m as good as I’ll ever be. Thanks for watching him. I’d have asked my family but...”
“You don’t have to explain. Anything for my brother. Besides, one more boy in the house wasn’t much of a problem. What do you plan to do with your first day?”
Lisa turned around to look at the hospital. It looked like a massive university structure. Old-school brick mixed with new modern architecture. Not a place she had to constantly prove her sanity, and apparently fail at. What was she going to do with her newfound freedom?
“Go home. Or find a home to go to.”
“Well, about that. Your house.”
“Yes.” Lisa really wasn’t feeling any bad news on this day.
“My brother was in the process of buying it. In fact, he had so little left to pay on it that me and my husband finished it off for you.”
“What?”
“Yes. He was going to tell you when he…” There was only one way that sentence was going. When they married. That would’ve been some gift. It wasn’t the best house on the block, but it had the best yard and was in the best spot. Basically, it had all the makings of the best house while being small and shabby. But it was hers now.
“So, work?”
“I’m going straight. After all I did, I can’t keep the lifestyle I had. I got enough to make the house more livable. After that, the paycheck to paycheck life.”
“Same for me. Husband is thrilled,” she said, and they shared a laugh together. “The rest of us... they have no desire to go on without Andre as well. I have to pick up the boys. We should go have some dinner. A real first meal.”
“You’re cooking?” Lisa made a face.
“Don’t be funny. I’ve gotten better. I haven’t burnt the frozen lasagna in weeks.”
“You can’t be serious?”
“Fine, we can have pizza. I certainly didn’t win my husband over with my culinary arts. I’m more than okay with that.”
***
Lisa woke up. She was in a place where she thought she might be happy. She had to do something to make sure she was doing the right thing, that a complete life change was more than the right thing to do. She got out of the bed and looked at the man. She came with intentions of having mind-blowing orgasms but only ended up spooning into the next day. She didn’t want this life anymore. Would she miss it? Every day. But she had a child. A son she quite literally killed for. There wasn’t anything else this world could give that would be better.
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